


Eternity before us

by Vanamiya



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: M/M, Tarn and Pharma are both dead and meet in the afterlife, also there is no explicit interfacing going on but it's hinted at, but aside from that it's pretty shmoopy, or afterspark, this is a post death fic people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 00:27:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10708329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vanamiya/pseuds/Vanamiya
Summary: Pharma and Tarn died. They meet again in the afterspark. Till all are one.





	Eternity before us

**Author's Note:**

> In this story, Tarn and Pharma actually both had some kind of feelings for one another but they were too stupid to act on them before fate made them walk different paths. So it's "till death do us part" but like, reverse.
> 
> I have no idea why anyone would want to read this, I was in a weird mood when I wrote it. Also it's not very IC because dying makes you a lot more chill with stuff apparently. If you STILL want to read this then I applaud your bravery.

It was all so bright. Warm. Endless. Here, all were one and all anger and hate was replaced with a sense of belonging. It was alright now. It did not hurt anymore. No one had to be alone and frightened anymore.

It became hard to tell where the self ended and another began, though he did not even notice until he felt a new arrival. One that was as black as the universe itself. Cold, defeated, and strangely familiar. It seemed like the comfort of eternal peace could not reach him, he was trapped inside a prison of his own making.

And so, Pharma felt his conscious returning to him, enough for him to know who he was, enough to see the being submerged in darkness. Pharma felt the memory of his own shape amidst nothing but light and colors. He used to have arms and legs. Yes... and servos... wings... it all came back to him, not like a frame made of metal but as an image, an illusion.

His servo – and oh, it was his servo, not the replacement he had gotten later on – reached out to the black cloud within a sea of peace and calm and it zapped him, he felt pain. It was so familiar. He remembered fear. He remembered temptation. He remembered Tarn.

“Tarn,” he called out to him but got no answer. He tried again, the sound of his voice just as incorporeal as everything else here.

Slowly, a frame formed within the cloud, big and imposing and just like Pharma remembered it. His purple mask hid Tarn's face, just like it had always done as long as Pharma had known him.

“Pharma...?” He sounded unbelieving, as if he could not quite grasp yet what had happened to him. The All and the One forgave him and because they did, so did Pharma.

“You are dead, Tarn... as am I.” Pharma tried to touch him again and was yet again denied. Tarn took his time to look around. Here, there was no up and no down, no left and no right, everything floated in complete weightlessness.

“Where are we? Is this the afterspark?”

“There is no “where”. There is only a “we”. We are one now, we are all one.”

It had been hard to understand for Pharma in the beginning. Ambulon had greeted him, had forgiven him and Pharma had not known what to do and his chainsaw had sliced into nothing over and over. It had taken him time to realize that nothing here was tangible but anything could exist. Now he felt calm, he felt good. He had let go of what had weighted him down once. Ambulon was happy, too.

“Let me touch you. Let me show you.”

Pharma's servo reached out for a third time but now, there was no pain, no barrier that kept him from touching Tarn. He could not feel him, not really, but he remembered how it felt, remembered all the times he had touched Tarn and Tarn had touched him. Before everything had fallen apart, before he had decided to end their deal. He remembered having been weirdly fascinated with the DJD's leader and how horrified he had been to discover that he had looked forward to their meetings.

He remembered almost bleeding to death and watching the sky in hope of seeing a familiar ship pass by. In hope of Tarn coming to check on him. He had never appeared, in the end. Instead, someone else had taken him in but it had not been the same. It had filled him with nothing but the desire to get revenge for what had happened to him. Now it all seemed so far way. But he liked to recall the pleasant moments, the touches, the warmth, their frames pressed together.

Pharma straddled Tarn's hips, increasing their contact but Tarn would not let him in yet, refused to become one with everyone.

“It's okay, relax.”

“I died.”

“Yes, you did.”

“I lost.”

“That doesn't matter anymore.”

“When I got to Delphi, there were only corpses left but yours wasn't there.”

“No... I did not die there. Were you looking for me?”

“Yes. Where were you?”

It was hard, staying in one form for so long when everything around you was always flowing and changing and melting into each other. Pharma felt his temporary frame push against Tarn's, trying to get inside, trying to merge. Just like they were always destined to. Everyone around them saw what was happening but they would not interfere, they would let Pharma ease Tarn into this new existence.

It was just one finger pressing against a biolight that managed to break the barrier. And suddenly, their frames sank into each other, the line where one ended and the other began blurring. Tarn gasped, obviously not used to this experience yet. He would learn. He would accept.

Pharma meanwhile was flooded with memories, thoughts, feelings, it was like a spark merge but more intense, Tarn was still so completely himself, nothing else was mixed in just yet. He still felt so... alive.

“You fought against Megatron and died.”

“Yes. And you were taken in by Tyrest.”

“Yes.”

They looked at each other and felt an almost forgotten longing. Now nothing stood between them anymore, nothing could steer them towards different paths. They had found each other again in death and that was how they would stay for eternity.

More and more of Tarn mixed with Pharma and more and more of Pharma mixed with Tarn. Tarn's hips twitched upwards and oh, Pharma remembered that and then they both did, momentarily lost in a pleasure that was as incorporeal as everything else, but still there.

It could not be measured how long they stayed like this. Time had no meaning here, there was only one long moment stretching out forever. Tarn melted, slowly, but his walls were washed away by Pharma's presence and the connection between them.

“What will happen now?”

“You will become one with me, with everyone.”

Silence. And then. “You seem so calm. Do you not regret dying?”

No. Yes. He didn't know anymore. He had but it was alright now. He felt no pain. And yet...

“I wish I could have done things differently. Then I wouldn't have had to die.”

“What would you have done?”

“I wouldn't have betrayed you. Not if I had known...”

It was all laid bare now. Their memories, their feelings. There was nothing left to hide. Tarn's mask turned into liquid and ran down his face because Pharma willed it so and Tarn let him. Pharma reached out to touch Tarn's cheek, fingers sinking into the mesh just slightly.

“You are so beautiful. I would have loved to kiss those lips.”

“Would you have stayed by my side if you had known? Would you have been loyal?”

“Yes.” Pharma meant it and Tarn knew.

“But it doesn't matter anymore.”

Pharma shook his helm. “It does. We have eternity before us.”

They kissed. And then their frames disappeared, leaving two lights in a sea of sparks, pressing together and dancing in circles. 

There was no pain here, no sorrow. But some feelings remained. And even if all were one, sometimes, two sparks were just a little closer to each other than to the rest.


End file.
